When my grandfather died, I had to stay home to take care of my younger brothers while my parents flew half way across the country to attend the funeral. That made me even sadder because I really loved my grandfather and I wanted to go with them, not stay home with three boys. Right after my parents left, my boyfriend's car broke down and he asked if he could stay at my parent's house for a few days and I could drive him to work, That seemed inappropriate on all sorts of levels so I said no. A few days later, I got a long letter, the gist of which was that I was selfish for not helping him out and that this wasn't a relationship that was going anywhere any way because his goal was to marry someone who was Japanese (not that he had actually met anyone else Japanese or otherwise).
I didn't respond and he didn't try to have any further contact at that point. Combined with my grief over my grandfather's death, this was pretty heartless.
The funny thing was that years later he contacted my parents to try to find me because he had realized that I was "the one." By then I was married and almost 34 years later I am still married to the same wonderful person. I hope he has been as lucky as I have, whether or not she is Japanese.
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